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On the Lighter Side Believe it or not, sometimes we can find something to laugh about by Karen Saari

Karen & Millie send e-mail on the difficulties of life in a police state

At 11:04 a.m. Millie writes:

Look, you know a lot about these things and I really want to know. Or maybe I don't want to know, I'm not sure if I do or don't. What has been troubling me lately is can they use p.spray on me if I don't have my seat belt fastened? Or would they simply wrestle me to the ground and hogtie me? I am not as flexible as I used to be and I worry about that. Please check. Meanwhile I am trying my damnedest not to forget my seat belt.

– Millie

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Karen Saari responds:

I think the key to avoid being pepper sprayed or hogtied is to be very white at all times. You might consider a heavy application of a very pale pancake makeup each time you venture out. It is also important to be well groomed and to appear to be at least "middle class," if not filthy rich. So dress accordingly. It is becoming very dangerous to appear publicly in trendy "grunge" attire.

The other thing is to walk with your head lowered and to be extremely compliant in body language and speech – this is particularly important for women and people of color. When out driving be sure that you have a well-maintained, newer vehicle without any of those inflammatory bumper stickers that say things about women's rights or saving trees.

And, of course, keep your seat belt fastened even when exiting the car.

– Karen

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