GO TO:  Back to Letters | Sonoma County Free Press Home Page | Columns | Features

More on Gender

Beth Grimes' attack on the men's movement was an insult to the intelligence of her readers. First of all, the title, "Gender Wars: Will The Real Enemy Please Stand Up?" falsely framed the issue at question. Unlike the women's movement, the men's movement in Sonoma County that Men and Women for Gender Justice represent is not blaming the other sex nor are we arguing over victim status. What we are saying is that both sexes need to take personal responsibility for their behavior and that the women's movement needs to stop wanting to have their cake and eat it too. Ms. Grimes is well aware of this reality.

She then goes on to commit the fallacy of guilt by association. She claims that because we recommend that people read Warren Farrell's "The Myth of Male Power" and Christina Hoff Sommers' "Who Stole Feminism" we therefore are right wing women haters. Notice that Ms. Grimes never mentions that we are an organization of women and men. Note also that Joe Manthey's progressive activist credentials were spelled out in the August 20, 1995 Press Democrat, when they did a feature story on who he is and what the movement is all about. Ms. Grimes is well aware of this reality as well.

Moreover, not only is Dr. Farrell not a misogynist (He is the only man ever elected to three consecutive terms to the NOW national Board of Directors) but neither is Dr. Sommers an "ultra conservative." The bottom line is that a majority of women and men from all political persuasions fundamentally believe in genuine understanding and equality between the sexes. Ms. Grimes evidently has not been aware of this reality.

Feminist critics of the men's movement like Ms. Grimes rarely if ever show even the slightest concern, much less outrage, over the shocking destruction of untold millions of men by our socioeconomic system. One can search in vain in feminist responses to the men's movement for empathy toward the plight of young men who are committing suicide at ever-increasing rates as compared with young women. Nor is there even an attempt to understand men being decimated at the job site, or in the family courts, or through unemployment or homelessness. For the most part, ideologues like Ms. Grimes are polarized on the harm being done to females that they do not recognize the pain of males and therefore cannot understand the urgent need for liberation.

These opponents of the movement are not aware of the long history of the crushing of masculine gender through the forces of industrialization and modernity. They do not comprehend the historical significance of the movement's attempt to recover and discover a sustainable and authentic masculinity that we can live with.

The time has come for men to help fashion a world without daily frustration and sorrow of having to view each other as competitors instead of a community of friends. As we face a new century, the time has come to aid our sons, brothers, fathers, and friends in the political struggles necessary to address the crisis they face. We can no longer passively submit to the destruction of the household and the father; the demise of self-employment; the disintegration of fatherhood, the family and the community. The time has come for men to stand up - whether or not Ms. Grimes, stuck in her simplistic and inaccurate Marxist-feminist analysis (oppressor vs. oppressed) of the genders, is ready for this evolutionary shift. Otherwise, I'm afraid it is precisely because of attitudes, beliefs and actions of closed-minded individuals like Ms. Grimes that we have a gender war in the first place.

Jeanne Gallyot, Rohnert Park

Jeanne Gallyot is a member of Men and Women for Gender Justice. She is a former client, staff member and board member of Sonoma County Women Against Rape.

Back
Sonoma County Free Press Home Page . About The Free Press . Columns . Features . Letters to the Editor . Action Opportunities . Subject Index
Supporters . What's New